The Flower Scene

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This person, although posing as a farm worker, is about to be apprehended by her local police department for theft of agricultural products. Questionable sources report this as yet another case of petal pushing, driven by demand for parade floats built for college football bowl games. These giant flowers, often growing larger than a two-story house, were frequently used as cover by soldiers in the European theater of both world wars. Unfortunately, enemy forces firing into the large centers released huge clouds of pollen that forced the hidden troops into tremendous fits of sneezing, and thus into revealing their positions. For decades scholars have debated the identity of the object in this photograph. Some believe it to be a flower, but others maintain strongly that it's a champagne glass. Other opinions classify it as haute couture fashion from the 1952 Christian Dior collection. A respected New Mexico commune holds that the photo records the engine blast from an extraterrestrial craft with secret but peaceful intentions. The inhabitants of the object are quite reclusive and have never spoken to reporters. This is the only known photograph of a being from the planet Phlour. It was taken at great risk to the photographer, whom the being, for unknown reasons, covered with three inches of potting soil and watered for ten days. Presumably this was an offer of friendship. Haunted flowers are a rarity but the phenomenon does occur. Here, a ghostly spirit prepares for a sneak attack on an unsuspecting horticultural citizen. Such encounters are seldom fatal, but due to their slow-moving nature, the flower seldom escapes.